The best programmer jokes

Two programmers after work, talking in a pub: "You will never believe me when I tell you what happened to me yesterday. I met a very nice blonde in a bar." - And what did you do ? "I invited her to my place, we had some drinks and then the girl asked me to undress her." "Are you kidding me ? And what did you do then?" "I got her blouse and her dress off and then i got her to sit on my office, right next to my new laptop." "Oh, you got a new laptop. What model and what are its specifications?"
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has 75.72 % from 188 votes. More jokes about: bar, IT, office, programmer, women
Q: Why do Java programmers have to wear glasses? A: Because they don't C#.
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has 74.78 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: coding, IT, nerd, programmer, technology
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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has 74.21 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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has 73.55 % from 362 votes. More jokes about: IT, life, programmer, sex
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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has 73.12 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: bar, IT, programmer
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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has 71.97 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: IT, light bulb, programmer
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, programmer
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: IT, money, programmer, work
What does a network administrator say when he gets back to home from work ? There’s no place like 127.0.0.1!
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has 71.05 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
On Unix, I always hide all of my personal files in the /bin/laden directory.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, programmer, technology
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