The best relationship jokes

Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what." Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready." Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave." Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know." Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you." Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does." Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry." Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red." Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going." Her: "I'm really on my period." Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.   After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Happy Valentine's Day.
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship, Valentines day
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: christian, relationship
Man comes home from work to find his boyfriend whacking off into a condom. Man says, "WTF?" Boyfriend says, "I am making you a sack lunch!"
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has 54.59 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: gay, relationship
Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people." Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?" Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde, friendship, insulting, relationship, stupid
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship
Q:Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain? A:Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, relationship
My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.
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has 45.43 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, sex, work
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: gay, men, relationship
If I've invested precious time and energy in a relationship, and I've been honest and open, hanging and coping, true blue, a good screw, to some fly guy who's out constantly getting high, then I'm dumped suicide is not one of my thoughts. I'm thinking maybe homicide.
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage, relationship, time
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