The best relationship jokes

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: life, relationship, time, wife
A young man decided after 4 years of working nonstop at a decent paying job and saving the bulk of his earnings that perhaps it was time to settle down. He called up an old girlfriend from his high school days and she answered on the first ring. As they spoke and reminisced about old times she said to him "Wow, this has been great, I've really enjoyed speaking with you, but I must ask, where on earth did you find my number?" To which he replied "Honestly? I'm just as surprised as you are, I have been working as a jani tor in our old high school and just happened to see your number etched into the door of a boys bathroom stall! I'm amazed you still have the same number after all these years!" And she responded "Well, how else was I supposed to keep in touch with all the boys I used to sleep with?"
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, relationship, time, work
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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has 60.80 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex
Me: "Will you Remember me in a day?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a week?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a month?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Will you remember me in a year?" Her: "Yes." Me: "Ok, I have a joke. Her: "Ok." Me: "Knock, knock." Her: "Who's there?" Me: "You didn't remember me."
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has 59.76 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: communication, knock-knock, memory, relationship
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
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has 59.25 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home. Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn." Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?" The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
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has 59.04 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, relationship, sex, stupid
Yesterday I lost my pen. Today I saw it in my girlfriend's hand When I told her: "My PEN IS in your hand." She began to laugh. I don'nt why...
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: communication, relationship
Yo mama so old, she walked into a museum and found her ex.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, old people, relationship, Yo mama
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: relationship, single
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, relationship, teacher, time
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