I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
Vote:
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?"
"She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me."
"I don't believe that she cheated on you!"
"Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
Vote:
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
Vote:
Yo mama so old, she walked into a museum and found her ex.
Vote:
Yesterday I lost my pen.
Today I saw it in my girlfriend's hand When I told her: "My PEN IS in your hand."
She began to laugh.
I don'nt why...
Vote:
A girlfriend said to me during sex that I should be a little more graceful, so I went to ballet classes!
Vote:
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote:
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her.
It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
Vote:
Once a blonde wanted to go to her boyfriend's home.
Her mom advised her: "My sweet whenever your boy friend wanted to touch your pants tell him there is a hot oven so your hand will burn."
Next day her mom asked her daughter: "Had you a good day?"
The blonde answered: "It was the best day in my life because when my boyfriend touched my pants I told him: 'There is a hot oven and your hand would damage!' But he urged me that I've one hot dog and I wanna to cook it for several times he put his hot dog in my pants and then he put it in my mouth for confident whether it has been cooked or not."
Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what."
Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready."
Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave."
Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know."
Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you."
Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does."
Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry."
Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red."
Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going."
Her: "I'm really on my period."
Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
Vote:
Joke has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship