Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".