Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.
Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A. They're married.
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses