Mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day.
What do single guys have?
Palm Sunday.
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"You're single and I'm single too! You know what that means?"
"What"
"We're both ugly!"
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables.
The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
Q: What's the worst thing about being lonely?
A: Playing Frisbee.
Me: "I'm so lonely."
Person: "Hey!"
Me: "Leave me alone."
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My girlfriend told me that will change me.
I thought she was referring to the character, but she found a new boyfriend!
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Two old people flirt at a seniors' singles bar.
After a few drinks, the old man asks the old woman, "If I took you out for a full night of wining, dining and dancing, what would you wear?"
The old woman replies shyly, "Depends..."
"Depends on what?" he asks.
"On my bottom - where else?!"
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Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand.
Whatever mate, I've got two night stands.
Either side of my bed.
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message".
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