The best student jokes

Two students talk: "What are you reading?" "Quantum physics theory book." "But why are you reading it upside-down?" "It makes no difference anyway."
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: nerd, student, stupid
An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body. When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt. Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy's butt. Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place. He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!" Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery." When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork. Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
Vote: has 72.34 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, music, school, student
Teacher: "I will call your parents!" Elementary student: "No! I’ll be a good boy!" Junior High School Student: "Pffff… Anyway…" High School Student: "Send my mother my greetings!"
Vote: has 72.05 % from 114 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, teacher
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: pirate, student, time
A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers. She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop." The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone. The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
Vote: has 71.53 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, science, student
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars? Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, school, student
Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "Buy why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
Vote: has 68.59 % from 269 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school, student, teacher
You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, time, work
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 279 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, student, teacher
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
Vote: has 65.94 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, math, school, student, teacher