The best student jokes

Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars? Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: money, school, student
I'll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: graduation, school, student
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: pirate, student, time
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
has 61.75 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: math, phone, relationship, student
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!" The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation. Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"
has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, school, student, teacher
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, sport, student, teacher
Q: Why did the students study in the airplane? A: Because they wanted higher grades.
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: airplane, student
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
has 58.55 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: kids, math, school, student, teacher
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
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