The best student jokes

Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars? Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: money, school, student
I'll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: graduation, school, student
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: pirate, student, time
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
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has 61.75 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: math, phone, relationship, student
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!" The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation. Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, school, student, teacher
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: computer, internet, sport, student, teacher
Q: Why did the students study in the airplane? A: Because they wanted higher grades.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: airplane, student
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
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has 58.55 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: kids, math, school, student, teacher
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."
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has 56.50 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
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