The best student jokes

Q: How many University Graduates does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it may take up to seven years!
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: graduation, light bulb, student, stupid, time
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions." Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: internet, school, student, teacher
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars? Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, school, student
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?" The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?" The old man said, "I thought it was gas - but I was wrong, too!"
Vote: has 66.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, health, medical, old people, student
A college economics professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his student. "And who is known as the father of modern economics?" the professor asked. "I don't know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Wilson, you would know," said the professor. "That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
Vote: has 66.18 % from 83 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: college, school, student, teacher
Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, student, teacher, time
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: pirate, student, time
PE Teacher: "Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?" Pupil: "You told me to put it on the Net."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, internet, sport, student, teacher
I remember my guidance counselor. The guy studied for years for his job, and deepest thing he ever said to me was, "You have your whole life ahead of you."
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: graduation, memory, student, time, work
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
Vote: has 64.35 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, math, school, student, teacher