The best teacher jokes

Little Johnny's class is reviewing the alphabet. His teacher knows that he has an "advanced" vocabulary for his age, so she avoids calling on him. When the teacher asks for a word beginning with "A," Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher anticipates he'll say, "ass" so she calls on Mary Lou, who says "apple." This continues because the teacher knows that Little Johnny knows a cuss word for every letter of the alphabet. Then she gets to "R." She can't think of any cuss words that begin with R, so she calls on Johnny. He exclaims, "R is for rats big f**king rats, with 12-inch c**ks!"
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has 71.73 % from 250 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, little Johnny, teacher
The first of September, first lesson. Teacher: "Please sit quietly, if you want to ask something - raise your hand." Little Johnny immediately raises his hand. "You want to ask something?" "No. Just checking how the system works."
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has 71.36 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "Buy why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
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has 71.33 % from 337 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, student, teacher
Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
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has 71.16 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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has 70.98 % from 355 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, teacher
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”
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has 70.80 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: doctor, kids, school, teacher
My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping. -_-
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has 70.23 % from 489 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist, teacher
One day little Johnny asked his teacher "So you know how most stores have 'you break it you buy it' rule? The teacher responded "Yes why?" Johnny said "Well do you think if you were to be looking at babies to adopt and dropped one that the orphange would make you buy it?"
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has 69.89 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: baby, customer service, kids, little Johnny, teacher
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
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has 69.63 % from 314 votes. More jokes about: math, student, teacher
A first-grade teacher can't 
believe her student isn't hepped up about the Super Bowl. "It's a huge event. Why aren't you excited?" "Because I'm not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too," says the student. "Well, that's a lousy reason," says the teacher. "What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?" "Then I'd be a football fan."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: football, student, teacher
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