The best teacher jokes

Early one morning a mother went to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!" "Buy why, Mom? I don't want to go." "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go." "Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!" "Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready." "Give me two reasons why I *should* go to school." "Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the PRINCIPAL!"
Vote:
has 71.08 % from 334 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, student, teacher
The first of September, first lesson. Teacher: "Please sit quietly, if you want to ask something - raise your hand." Little Johnny immediately raises his hand. "You want to ask something?" "No. Just checking how the system works."
Vote:
has 71.05 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
Vote:
has 70.90 % from 354 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, teacher
My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping. -_-
Vote:
has 70.82 % from 481 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist, teacher
Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
Vote:
has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”
Vote:
has 70.24 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: doctor, kids, school, teacher
One day little Johnny asked his teacher "So you know how most stores have 'you break it you buy it' rule? The teacher responded "Yes why?" Johnny said "Well do you think if you were to be looking at babies to adopt and dropped one that the orphange would make you buy it?"
Vote:
has 69.86 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: baby, customer service, kids, little Johnny, teacher
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
Vote:
has 69.77 % from 312 votes. More jokes about: math, student, teacher
Miss Taylor the English teacher writes an incorrect sentence on the board: "I didn't had no fun for months." Then she faces the class and says, "OK class, how should this be corrected?" Little Johnny says, "I think you should get yourself a better man!"
Vote:
has 69.61 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
Vote:
has 69.04 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, stupid, teacher
<<<11121314
More jokes →
Page 11 of 21.