# The best teacher jokes

Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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has 70.69 % from 366 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, teacher
Teacher asks student: What is the half of 8? Student: Miss horizontally or vertically? Teacher: What do mean? Student: Horizontally it is 0 and vertically it is 3.
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has 70.22 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: math, student, teacher
My teacher sends this Chinese kid out of the classroom cause she thought he was sleeping. -_-
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has 69.99 % from 566 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist, teacher
A teacher goes around her class asking each of the kids what do they need at home? 1st kid says, "A computer." Teacher replies "That'd be very useful" 2nd kid says "A new lawn mower." Teacher replies with a similar response... Little Johnny pops up and says, "At my house we don"t need anything." The teacher asks him to think again carefully as everybody needs something... Little Johnny replies, "Nope, i'm sure of it. Whenever my sister started going out with a NIGGER, i remember my dad saying, "Well, thats the last f*cking thing we need."
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has 69.79 % from 443 votes. More jokes about: black people, computer, kids, racist, teacher
Little Johnny was walking down the hallway at school. When he reaches his classroom he looks inside and sees a sub instead of his regular teacher. Johnny sits down and the teacher says, “Now students, my name is Ms. Prussy. Not the other word, this word has an r after the first letter.” Johnny started laughing. An hour later he forgot her name and said, “Your name has an r after the first letter is it Ms. Crunt?”
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has 69.72 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’” A small voice from the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; she’s still old, nasty, and wrinkled”
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has 69.52 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: doctor, kids, school, teacher
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4? Pupil: That's not fair! You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
The first of September, first lesson. Teacher: "Please sit quietly, if you want to ask something - raise your hand." Little Johnny immediately raises his hand. "You want to ask something?" "No. Just checking how the system works."
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has 69.06 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
Teacher: "Are you good at math?" Pupil: "Yes and no." Teacher: "What do you mean?" Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
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has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, teacher, work
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