The best teacher jokes

Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions." Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: internet, school, student, teacher
Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old
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has 63.26 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: kids, student, teacher, time
Teacher: What's 2 and 2? Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good. Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
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has 63.16 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: kids, math, school, student, teacher
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
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has 63.09 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: baby, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, school, teacher
Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
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has 61.90 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: family, little Johnny, mean, old people, teacher
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!" The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation. Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, school, student, teacher
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it. Mary: No madam! I will not be able to attend it. Teacher: Why? Mary: My mother will not allow me to go so far!
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class. She would tell the class the word and its meaning, then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word for the day. One day, the teacher said that the word for the day was "frugal." She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves. She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word. The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand. Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story: "There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower. There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out. One day, she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing. The princess called out of the tower, 'Frugal me! Frugal me!' So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after."
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: money, music, teacher
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