The best teacher jokes

Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing? Class: "Brotherly love."
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has 66.50 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, school, teacher
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, teacher, work
A teacher asks her students if they're Yankees fans. All of the hands go up except for one student. "Okay, Bobby. What team are you a fan of?" "The Red Sox." "Why's that?" "Well, my parents are both Red Sox fans, so I'm a Red Sox fan too." "That's not a good answer, Bobby. If your parents were both morons, would you be a moron too?" "No, that would make me a Yankees fan!"
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has 66.32 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: sport, teacher
A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid: "Is your mom at home?" "Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared. "And your father?" "No, he has hidden away as well..."
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, teacher
A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian. She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too. Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air. There's just one girl who doesn't raise her hand. So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. The girl says, "Because I'm not a Christian." The teacher asks, "So what are you then? " The girl replies, "I'm an atheist." The teacher's a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she's an atheist. The girl says, "It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom's atheist, and my Dad's atheist, so I'm atheist."rnrnThe teacher is now angry. " That's no reason." she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?" "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a born-again Christian."
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has 65.99 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: atheist, Christmas, kids, religious, teacher
Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Sally was sleeping in front of johnny. The teacher asked Sally who our Lord and savior was. Little Johnny poked her in the butt with a pin and she screamed "Jesus Christ!" And fell back to sleep. A little while later the teacher asked Sally who created our world. Johnny poked her in the butt again and Sally screamed "oh my god!" And fell back to sleep. Later the teacher asked Sally what Eve said to Adam after they had their fifth child. Johnny poked her in the butt and Sally screamed "if you stick that thing in me one more time I'm gonna break it!"
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has 65.91 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: bible, god, little Johnny, teacher
Teacher: "Don't forget to check the Internet if you have trouble with your homework questions." Pupil: "It's not the questions I have trouble with, it's the answers."
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: internet, school, student, teacher
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
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has 65.42 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: baby, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
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