The best teacher jokes

Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, student, teacher, time
At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
Vote: has 63.87 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!" The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation. Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, school, student, teacher
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, teacher
Happy Father's Day to a dad who was smart enough to teach me how to mow the lawn so he would't have to.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Fathers day, kids, teacher, work
Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10. And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10". The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, math, memory, teacher
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
Vote: has 60.85 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, school, teacher