The best teacher jokes

Teacher: "I wished you would pay a little attention." Pupil: "I'm paying as little as I can!"
Vote: has 81.34 % from 342 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, teacher
This guy went to school and he asked "May I use the bathroom?" The teacher replied, " no not unless you say your abc's." The guy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher asked "Where's the p? He replied, " running down my leg!"
Vote: has 81.33 % from 459 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, teacher
Teacher:Maria please point to America on the map. Maria:This is it. Teacher:Well done. Now class, who found America? Class:Maria did.
Vote: has 81.15 % from 356 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geography, school, teacher
The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?” “No sir,” Little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook!”
Vote: has 80.98 % from 318 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail. Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
Vote: has 80.89 % from 229 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: duck, little Johnny, teacher
One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?". His teacher replies "NO" Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me". "OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies. Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger". She again says "NO". "But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again. "Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher. Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON" Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".
Vote: has 80.88 % from 1741 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, sex, teacher
Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's." Did you copy hers?, she asked. Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
Vote: has 80.68 % from 238 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, little Johnny, teacher
During a lesson little Johnny yawns extremely wide. Teacher tries to make a joke: "Johnny, don't swallow me." He replies: "Don't worry, teacher, I don't eat pork."
Vote: has 80.54 % from 94 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, insulting, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
Vote: has 80.50 % from 478 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, teacher
Jimmy: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do? Teacher: no, of course not. Jimmy: good, because i didn't do my homework.
Vote: has 80.32 % from 681 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, teacher


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