The best teacher jokes

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher. The florist's son handed the teacher a gift. She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!" "That's right!" shouted the little boy. Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift. She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!" "That's right!" shouted the little girl. The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny. The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking. She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No," Little Johnny answered. The teacher touched another drop to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," he answered. Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?" Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"
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More jokes about: disgusting, dog, little Johnny, teacher, wine
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
Vote: has 79.52 % from 391 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, teacher
Teacher (on phone): "You say Michael has a cold and can't come to school today? To whom am I speaking?" Voice: "This is my father."
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More jokes about: dad, health, kids, teacher
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Student: A teacher!
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More jokes about: school, teacher
Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail. Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
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More jokes about: duck, little Johnny, teacher
Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?" Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"! The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?" Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"
Vote: has 79.07 % from 398 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, science, teacher
Teacher: Students draw a picture of bacteria. Student: Here it is Mam! Teacher: Where? It Is Blank. Student: you told that bacteria cannot be seen with naked eye!
Vote: has 78.83 % from 206 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, teacher
In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex." The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?" Johnny says, "Seventy-three." The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..." She calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?" Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl." Johnny yells, "Seventy-four."
Vote: has 78.80 % from 398 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, sex, teacher
The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?” “No sir,” Little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook!”
Vote: has 78.59 % from 261 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
Music teacher tells Peter: "I warn you, if you will not behave, as appropriate, I tell your parents that you have a talent for music."
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, teacher