The best teacher jokes

A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
Vote: has 78.49 % from 2370 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
Vote: has 78.46 % from 218 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math, teacher
Tyrone' s 1st day in the first grade he comes home crying. When his mother ask why he replays. "The teacher told us to say our abc' s and all the little white boys could say them and I could only get to e why is that." Mom says "cause u black and they white." Next day Tyrone is crying again . "What's wrong today Tyrone" his mother ask. Tyrone said "teacher told us to count to 100 and all the little white boys did but I could only get to 10 why is that." Mom says "cause u black and they white." Next day he comes home smiling. "What happened today Tyrone?" Tyrone says mama "we went to the bathroom and my thing was biggest of all . Is that cause I'm black and they white." Mama says "no Tyrone it's cause u 17 and they 6."
Vote: has 78.36 % from 751 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, black people, racist, school, teacher
The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?” “No sir,” Little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook!”
Vote: has 78.27 % from 257 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school." The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school! The teachers and students hate me! Give me one reason I should go!" The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"
Vote: has 78.21 % from 322 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, student, teacher
Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Vote: has 78.20 % from 251 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, teacher
Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, May I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!
Vote: has 78.00 % from 608 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher
Teacher: How old is your father? Johnny: As old as I am. Teacher: How is it possible? Little Johnny: He became father only after I was born.
Vote: has 77.88 % from 202 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, little Johnny, teacher
A teacher comes to the home of one naughty kid: "Is your mom at home?" "Nope, she's not here", says the naughty kid, quite scared. "And your father?" "No, he has hidden away as well..."
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, kids, teacher
Q: What's the difference between a book and a teacher? A: You can shut a book up but you can't shut a teacher up.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: teacher, vulgar