The best teacher jokes

Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Vote: has 78.77 % from 258 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, teacher
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?” The little boy thinks for a moment and says, “NONE!” The teacher replies, “None, how do you figure that?” The little boy says, “if I shoot one, all the other birds will fly away scared, leaving none on the fence.” The teacher replies, “Hmm, not exactly, but I do like the way you think!” The little boy then says, “Teacher, let me ask you a question. There are 3 women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone, another is biting it and the third one is sucking it. How can you tell which one of the women is married?” The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies, “Well, I guess the one sucking her cone.” To which the little boy replies, “Actually, its the one with the wedding ring, but I do like the way YOU think!”
Vote: has 78.75 % from 184 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bird, marriage, school, teacher, work
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
Vote: has 78.74 % from 2422 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?" Student: "Future impossible tense."
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, money, school, student, teacher
A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school." The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school! The teachers and students hate me! Give me one reason I should go!" The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"
Vote: has 78.47 % from 331 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, student, teacher
Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, May I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!
Vote: has 78.46 % from 641 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, teacher
A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"
Vote: has 78.31 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, money, school, teacher, wife
Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"
Vote: has 78.29 % from 303 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, relationship, school, teacher
Little Johnny's teacher asks, "What is the chemical formula for water?" Little Johnny replies, "HIJKLMNO"! The teacher, puzzled, asks, "What on Earth are you talking about?" Little Johnny replies, "Yesterday you said it was H to O!"
Vote: has 78.22 % from 427 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, science, teacher
Teacher: How old is your father? Johnny: As old as I am. Teacher: How is it possible? Little Johnny: He became father only after I was born.
Vote: has 78.13 % from 235 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, little Johnny, teacher


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