The best teacher jokes

A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?" "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
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More jokes about: dad, doctor, lawyer, little Johnny, teacher
A student went to class late, so the teacher asked him, "Why are you late?" He told her, "I was dreaming of a Manchester United football match." But that did not make any sense for the teacher so she ask, "Still why are you late?" He answered, "Because there was extra time."
Vote: has 76.73 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, soccer, teacher
Teacher: "Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus four?" Class: "At once!"
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More jokes about: math, school, teacher
"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!"
Vote: has 76.22 % from 159 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, geography, school, teacher
A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female. "The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis." A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong. "My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"
Vote: has 76.20 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, student, teacher
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
Vote: has 76.09 % from 115 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, stupid, teacher
When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. They say I'm a little rough around the edges.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, graduation, money, school, teacher
A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"
Vote: has 76.01 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, money, school, teacher, wife
English Class Teacher: "One day we will be corruption free. Which tense is it?" Student: "Future impossible tense."
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More jokes about: communication, money, school, student, teacher
Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?" Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1." Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit." Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead." Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
Vote: has 75.73 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, disgusting, kids, teacher, vulgar