The best teacher jokes

A student went to class late, so the teacher asked him, "Why are you late?" He told her, "I was dreaming of a Manchester United football match." But that did not make any sense for the teacher so she ask, "Still why are you late?" He answered, "Because there was extra time."
Vote: has 74.71 % from 90 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, soccer, teacher
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body." Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
Vote: has 73.95 % from 318 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, little Johnny, school, teacher
Q: What's the difference between a book and a teacher? A: You can shut a book up but you can't shut a teacher up.
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: teacher, vulgar
A teacher asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favourite Bible stories. She was puzzled by a boy's picture which showed four people on an aircraft, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. 'The flight to Egypt,' he replied. 'I see... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus,' she said. 'But who's the fourth person?' 'Oh, that's Pontius – the Pilot!'
Vote: has 73.52 % from 112 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, bible, catholic, teacher
Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
Vote: has 73.50 % from 201 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, Santa, school, teacher
There's this black kid that goes to school and realizes teachers treat him differently than the white kids. So, he goes home, paints himself white and shows his dad. His dad beats the crud outta him. He shows his mother, "Hey Ma, Look! I'm white!" He gets beat by his mom too. Lastly, he shows his Grandmother, "Grandma, Look! I'm white! She beats him badly with her cane and sends him to his room. Later, his dad comes into his room and asks, "Son, did you learn anything out of this?" And the boy replies, "Duh! I've only been white for an hour and I already hate three niggers!"
Vote: has 73.34 % from 631 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: kids, racist, school, teacher, white people
Teacher: Ramu, how do you spell "crocodile"? Ramu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L" Teacher: No, that's wrong Ramu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Vote: has 73.23 % from 174 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: school, teacher
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".
Vote: has 73.17 % from 119 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, school, teacher, women
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 73.13 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?" Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
Vote: has 72.97 % from 201 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, school, teacher