The best teacher jokes

Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you believe in the Devil?" "No," said Little Johnny. "It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."
Vote: has 74.61 % from 197 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, Santa, school, teacher
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" ‘Well honey...' said the slightly prudish parent, "An Angel brought you to us." "Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked. "Oh, the angel brought us too." "Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted. "Well darling, the angel brought them too!" said the parent. Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write because there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
Vote: has 74.45 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, kids, teacher
When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. They say I'm a little rough around the edges.
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, graduation, money, school, teacher
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
Vote: has 74.17 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, little Johnny, mean, old people, teacher
It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift. The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers". "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him. The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy." "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also. The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked. "No," said the little girl. So she tasted it again. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "Noooo," replied the little girl, "It's a puppy."
Vote: has 74.05 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, disgusting, student, teacher, wine
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body." Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
Vote: has 74.04 % from 315 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, little Johnny, school, teacher
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".
Vote: has 73.88 % from 118 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, school, teacher, women
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 73.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, school, teacher
Little Johnny is sitting in class, the teacher is going over vocabulary words. She asks the class to use a word in a sentence. The teacher says the word is "contagious". Johnny is waving his arm up and down, no other students have their arm up. The teacher figures there is no way Johnny can come up something rude for this word, and she calls his name to use the word in a sentence. Johnny says the other day, my dad and I were driving down the freeway and woman was painting a billboard, she was using a very small brush. The teacher says "what does this have to do the word contagious?" Johnny says "my dad turned to me and said: 'Son it is going to take that "cunt-ages" to paint that billboard with that little brush!'" The teacher says, "never again!"
Vote: has 73.56 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dad, little Johnny, school, teacher
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, teacher