The best time jokes

Chuck Norris has sneezing allergies in the mid-to-late fall. This time is typically referred to as hurricane season.

Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me. Look how time files!

We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies. We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday Night morning? "Tell her a joke on Monday Morning."

Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.

Wine improves with age – the older you get the more you like it.

For thirty years, Officer Johnson had arrived at the police station at 9 A.M. on the dot ready for duty. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson's arrival in the briefing room, it caused a major sensation. All announcements and patrol assignments ceased and the sergeant himself, looking at his watch and muttering, stormed out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, his uniform dusty and torn, his nametag missing, his face scratched and bruised, his shield bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs. Nearly freakin' killed myself." And the sergeant said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?"

Scientists have predicted the world will end in 2012, but that's just a guess when Chusk Norris' patience will run out.

Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.

I've been trying to find the right time to tell my pet hes adopted...