The best time jokes

A popular motivational speaker was entertaining his audience. He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!" The audience was in silence and shock. The speaker added: "And that woman was my mother!" Laughter and applause. A week later, a top manager trained by the motivational speaker tried to crack this very effective joke at home during a small party. He was a bit foggy after having a drink or two. He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who was not my wife!" The wife went red with shock and rage. Standing there for 20 seconds trying to recall the second half of the joke, with the guests not saying a word, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who she was!"
Vote: has 79.27 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, management, memory, time, women
Why Trick-or-Treating Is Better Than Sex: - You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. - If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. - The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. - You don't have to keep in touch with the person who gives you some. - 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy. - If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door. - It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning with pleasure. - You can do the whole neighborhood.
Vote: has 79.22 % from 285 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, time
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
Vote: has 78.85 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, technology, time
Big inspection on a build site/yard. The boss tells the workers : what ever happens just act as usual. The inspection committee were inspecting when a wall just colapses. -(Worker looking at his watch) : 10:15, just on time
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, time, work
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, time
I'm tired 8 days a week.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, time
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live." Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!" Doctor: "Nine."
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, health, life, time
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: hipster, time
We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies. We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, time
Two sperms. The first one asked the second "How much time we need to reach the womb?" The second one answered "To much time left... We are in the stomach now."
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, time