The best jokes about women

A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you."
Vote:
has 84.17 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: couple, mean, women
Bob had been listening to his wife practicing her singing. "Honey," he said, "I wish you'd sing the songs about Women's Day." "That's nice of you, Bob," she said. "Why?" "Then I'd only have to hear you once a year!"
Vote:
has 84.15 % from 397 votes. More jokes about: mean, music, time, wife, women
Two boys go into a forest and walk around. Suddenly they see a naked women, then one of the boys run away. The other chases after him. The boy asked "Why did u run away?" The other said "My mom told me if i saw a naked women i'd turn to stone, i already felt something getting getting hard."
Vote:
has 83.90 % from 755 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
This little old lady goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor I have this problem with passing gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. It never smells and it’s always silent. As a matter of fact I’ve passed gas at least 20 times since I’ve been here in your office. You didn’t know I was passing gas because it doesn’t smell and it’s silent." The doctor says "I see. Take these pills and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don’t know what you gave me, but now my passing gas… although still silent, it stinks terribly." "Good", the doctor said, "now that we’ve cleared up your sinuses, we’ll start to work on your hearing."
Vote:
has 83.87 % from 166 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, old people, women, work
A woman is driving for 1st time on the highway. Her husband calls says: "Be careful love, It's just been on the radio, that someone is driving opposite to the traffic on the highway.." She replies: "Someone...? These rascals are in hundreds!"
Vote:
has 83.85 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: car, husband, love, women
A beautiful woman who had a golden little plane necklace was seated next to a guy on the plane. During the flight all the time he was gazing at the necklace. When the woman asked him: "Are you interested in my necklace?" "No lady; I would rather its runway!" answered the guy.
Vote:
has 83.83 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: airplane, communication, men, travel, women
Boy calls 911. Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.
Vote:
has 83.77 % from 333 votes. More jokes about: women
When a woman gets a vibrator, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when a guy orders a 240 volt Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating pussy, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collecting tray, together with optional built-in realistic orgasm scream 7.1 sound system, he's called a pervert.
Vote:
has 83.71 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: masturbation, men, women
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman. After a few minutes he turns to her and says, “Can I smell your pussy?” The woman looks at him in disgust and says, “Certainly not!” “Hmmm,” he replies. “It must be your feet, then.”
Vote:
has 83.53 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: dirty, women
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore.” The accountant balks and says, “No, no, no. That will never work. That is much too crass. Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman, “Ok, I’m a prostitute.” “No, that is still too crude. Try again.” They both think for a minute, then the woman states, “I’m a chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore or a prostitute?” “Well, I raised over 5,000 cocks last year.”
Vote:
has 83.47 % from 407 votes. More jokes about: accountant, dirty, tax, women
<<<5678
More jokes →
Page 5 of 63.