The best work jokes

Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.
Vote: has 75.63 % from 141 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, gay, work
Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology." The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors." This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." No go! Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again. Then came, "Manic-Depressives and Anal-Retentives." But is was still not good! So they tried: "Minds and Behinds" "Analysis and Anal Cysts" "Nuts and Butts" "Freaks and Cheeks" "Loons and Moons" "Lost Souls and Ass Holes" None worked. Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be accepted by the council: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds and Ends." APPROVED!
Vote: has 75.60 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, work
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, money, tax, work
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, money, programmer, work
Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, wife, work
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly. Tweet Share
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, golf, life, work
Rita is complaining to her friends about her husband's extreme dedication to his new job. You see, Rita's husband has been jobless for quite a while. She tells her friends, "I appreciate the fact that at last he's found a new job, but I don't like him taking his work home and finishing it in our bedroom." "Why, what's his new job?" "He's an embalmer."
Vote: has 74.84 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, life, work
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won't claim that god did it.
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: atheist, god, light bulb, work
"Mommy," Little Johnny asked, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'?" "No, dear," she replied. "Sometimes they start with 'Darling, I'll be working late at the office tonight...'"
Vote: has 74.59 % from 236 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, office, work