The best work jokes

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

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Don't stand around doing nothing. People will think you're the boss.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
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Morris the loudmouth mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his Mercedes. Morris shouted across the garage, "Hey DeBakey! Is dat you? Come on ova' here a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to where Morris the mechanic was working on the car. Morris straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked argumentatively, "So Mr. Fancy Doctor, look at dis here work. I also open hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish dis baby will purr like a kitten. So how come you get da big bucks, when you an' me is doing basically da same work?" Dr. DeBakey leaned over and whispered to Morris the loudmouth mechanic. "Try doing it with the engine running."
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, doctor, mechanic, work
How many mexicans does it take to build... Oh shit, They're done!
Vote: has 76.41 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, mexican, work
Q: If an accountant's wife cannot sleep, what does she say? A: "Darling, could you tell me about your work."
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, wife, work
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, wife, work
Q: Why was the blonde late for work? A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.
Vote: has 76.19 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

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Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist. They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore. The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens." The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job." Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, food, work
Two doctors opened an office in a small town. They put up a sign reading: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Psychiatry and Proctology." The town council was not too happy with the sign, so the doctors changed it to: "Hysterias and Posteriors." This was not acceptable either, so in an effort to satisfy the council, they changed the sign to: "Schizoids and Hemorrhoids." No go! Next they tried "Catatonics and Colonics" Thumbs down again. Then came, "Manic-Depressives and Anal-Retentives." But is was still not good! So they tried: "Minds and Behinds" "Analysis and Anal Cysts" "Nuts and Butts" "Freaks and Cheeks" "Loons and Moons" "Lost Souls and Ass Holes" None worked. Almost at their wits' end, the doctors finally came up with a title they thought might be accepted by the council: "Dr Smith and Dr Jones, Odds and Ends." APPROVED!
Vote: has 75.90 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, work