The best work jokes

Don't stand around doing nothing. People will think you're the boss.
Vote: has 77.51 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: management, work
Three guys are alone on a desert island: an engineer, a biologist and an economist. They are starving and don't have a thing to eat, but somehow they find a can of beans on the shore. The engineer says: "Let's hit the can with a rock until it opens." The biologist has another idea: "No. We should wait for a while. Erosion will do the job." Finally, the economist says: "Let's assume that we have a can opener".
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, food, work
A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store." "But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom – I'll show you how."
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, graduation, management, stupid, work
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: graduation, life, school, work
An economist is someone who didn't have enough personality to become an accountant.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: accountant, work
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, wife, work
Q: Why did the gay man get fired from his job at the sperm bank? A: Drinking on the job.
Vote: has 76.24 % from 140 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, gay, work
Q: Why was the blonde late for work? A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.
Vote: has 76.19 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, work
How many mexicans does it take to build... Oh shit, They're done!
Vote: has 76.11 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, mexican, work
A little boy was pushing a heavy cart uphill with a lot of effort. The work was very tiring, so someone walking nearby felt pity and helped the little boy push the heavy cart until the end of the hill. He stopped indignant there and told to the child: "You should say to your boss that it is a shame to make a kid such hard work to do." "I told them, sir." "Well, what did they reply?" "Pull kid and some sucker will be there to help you."
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, kids, work