The best work jokes

While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
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More jokes about: beauty, black humor, customer service, death, work
The only qualification for working at an airline is making a confused face at a monitor.
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More jokes about: insulting, stupid, travel, work
A little boy was pushing a heavy cart uphill with a lot of effort. The work was very tiring, so someone walking nearby felt pity and helped the little boy push the heavy cart until the end of the hill. He stopped indignant there and told to the child: "You should say to your boss that it is a shame to make a kid such hard work to do." "I told them, sir." "Well, what did they reply?" "Pull kid and some sucker will be there to help you."
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More jokes about: god, kids, work
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
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More jokes about: accountant, money, tax, work
A young job applicant was being interviewed for an entry-level position. His prospective boss asked, "Are you a smoker?" "Not even a little," said the young man. "How about alcoholic beverages?" "Never touch 'em," he replied. The boss smiled and asked, "So you spend a lot of time with girls?" The applicant said, "No, not really." "So you don't have any vices?" "Well, I do have one," he admitted. "And what would that be?" the boss asked. "I tell lies."
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More jokes about: alcohol, communication, drug, women, work
Q: Why was the blonde late for work? A: She was stranded on the broken escalator.
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More jokes about: blonde, work
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
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More jokes about: accountant, money, office, time, work
Q: Who makes the best detective - Sherlock Holmes or a tax accountant? A: The tax accountant - she make's more deductions.
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More jokes about: accountant, tax, work
The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: Management.
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More jokes about: management, mean, work
A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck. Finally, I thought I had found one. I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room. "No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."
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More jokes about: customer service, fitness, work