The best work jokes

Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.
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has 74.74 % from 490 votes. More jokes about: asian, cop, geography, work
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job? A: Because he didn't get arrays.
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: IT, money, programmer, work
While I was out to lunch, my coworker answered my phone and told the caller that I would be back in 20 minutes. The woman asked, "Is that 20 minutes Central Standard Time?"
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, phone, time, work
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said "I'm here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything." "That's quite a coincidence", said the engineer, "I'm here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood, and my insurance company also paid for everything." The lawyer looked somewhat confused. "How do you start a flood?", he asked.
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: black humor, fish, lawyer, money, work
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".
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has 74.21 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, work
A colleague was planning a trip to my business office and asked if I could find him a hotel with exercise facilities. I called several hotels, with no luck. Finally, I thought I had found one. I asked the receptionist if the hotel had a weight room. "No," she replied, "but we have a lobby and you can wait there."
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: customer service, fitness, work
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: graduation, school, time, work
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
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has 74.20 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: math, work
My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, beauty, time, work
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him. She knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load." He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says, "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker looks at her and finally, he says, "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck."
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, driving, winter, work
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