Son: Dad, it's so cold in here! Father: Go stand in the corner. Son: Why? Father: The corner is 90 degrees.
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
Roses are red violets are blue I have 5 fingers the middle one for you.
A ship goes out to sea and crashes. 6 people (1 woman and 5 men) survive and use a safety raft to float to this deserted island. Well, after spending several weeks on the island, they all begin to get really lonely and sexually deprived. So they come to this agreement. All of the men will marry the one woman for a week. So the first man has her for one week, the second man has her for the second week, and so on. Everyone will now be getting sex and they all agree to it. This goes on for five years and everyone is happy. Each man gets sex every fifth week and the woman gets to have sex whenever she wants with a different man every week. Well, a few weeks into the fifth year, the woman dies. The first week is pretty bad, the second week is still pretty bad, the third week is getting worse, the fourth week things are just bad, real bad, and the fifth week is just awful. It’s getting so very bad that on the sixth week they buried her.
Yo mama so fat even dora cant explore her.
There's a double Decker bus driving down the street full of passengers, blonde and brunette. On the lower level of the bus, the brunettes are having a good time, talking, laughing, and singing along to the music playing. On the upper part of the bus, the blondes are seated... they're in a panic. They're screaming, terrified, and holding onto each other as the bus moves along the street. Finally, a brunette gets up and walks to the top of the bus to ask what's wrong, and one of the blonde's replies, "what's wrong?!? Well, you'd be screaming too if you didn't have a driver!!!"
Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"