Best jokes ever

Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
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has 78.03 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: life
A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired. They are each assigned a section of the road. The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1. On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5. On the third day, the blonde only gets 1/4 of a mile done, the redheaed 3, and the brunette 3.5. The manager decides to talk to the blonde. "You haven't been painting as much road as you did on the first day," the manager said. "What's the problem?" "I'd be painting more, but the bucket keeps getting farther and farther away!"
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has 78.02 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Yo mama is so stupid that she bought curtains for her computer just because it had Windows.
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has 78.02 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: IT, stupid, Yo mama
Three couples are having a picnic. One man says to his wife, "Pass me the honey, honey." The second man says to his wife, "Pass me the sugar, sugar." Then the third man says to his wife, "Pass me the bacon, pig."
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: couple, food, mean, men, vulgar
The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs. "Do you realize what time it is?" she asked. He answered, "Dont get excited. Im late because I bought something for the house." Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, "What did you buy for the house, dear?" His answer was, "A round of drinks!"
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, husband, time, wife
How do you make a group of lawyers to smile for a photo? Just say, "Fees."
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A man was drinking at a bar and the bartender came over to tell him he had a visitor waiting for him outside the bar. He had just bought another large beer and he didn"t want anyone to drink it. So, he wrote a little sign on a piece of paper and left it by his beer that said: "I spit in my beer." When he returned to his bar stool there was another note beside his beer: "I spit in your beer too!"
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer
Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
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has 78.01 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: computer, geek, IT, money, technology
Yo Momma is so fat… That she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
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has 78.01 % from 408 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, Yo mama
Yo momma so fat she downloads cheats for Wii Fit.
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has 78.01 % from 1141 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, Yo mama
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