Best jokes ever

Somebody knocks on door: Who is there? Police? What do you want? We want to talk. How many of you are there? Two. So talk with each other.
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has 85.17 % from 595 votes. More jokes about: life
My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our stupid first-timer questions. One guy asked, "If our chute doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?" Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."
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has 85.17 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: airplane, black humor, life, time
Wife to husband: ‘Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!’ Husband: ‘Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.’
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has 85.17 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: marriage
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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has 85.17 % from 410 votes. More jokes about: birthday, marriage, wife
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you? Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
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has 85.17 % from 365 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men, wife
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
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has 85.16 % from 3369 votes. More jokes about: catholic, chocolate, food, god, kids
The best way to make somebody remember you is to borrow money from them.
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has 85.16 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: life
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
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has 85.16 % from 921 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Girls are like Internet Domain names, the ones I like are already taken.
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has 85.16 % from 609 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer, women
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
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has 85.15 % from 417 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, technology
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