Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why? A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
Yo' Mama is so old, she went to an antique shop, and they kept her.
Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.
Old librarians never die, they just lose their references.
Yo mama so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.
Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. "Don’t be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts." A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says… "Now she knows."
Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"