When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog. The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want." The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you." He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened. And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."
My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad. Ted asked if she was going to use worms. "No," she said. "I'm going to use a fishing pole."
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing. "Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?" "Not yet", she answered.
Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.
Yo Momma soooo old she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket!
Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why? A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
Old librarians never die, they just lose their references.