The best age jokes

Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, death
My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, beauty, time, work
Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Vote: has 65.86 % from 253 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, fart, sex
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about. "Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks. The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father." "I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal." "Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many." The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards." The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!" The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
Vote: has 65.56 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, jewish, kids, priest, racist
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
Vote: has 65.56 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dirty, old people, sport
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Vote: has 65.53 % from 396 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, women
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I’m in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you," he said. "But George," she said gently, "don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child." "Oh, don’t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I’ll use a rubber."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, love, school, teacher
Yo mama is so old she was electrocuted with steam.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, Yo mama
Yo Momma soooo old she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket!
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, Yo mama
Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."
Vote: has 65.42 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, old people, political, racist