The best age jokes

My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
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More jokes about: age, beauty, time, work
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
Vote: has 66.43 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

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Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Vote: has 66.22 % from 259 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, fart, sex
Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.
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More jokes about: age, communication, death, old people, Yo mama
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die." "Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
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More jokes about: age, birthday, dad, kids, sex
Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."
Vote: has 66.21 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, old people, political, racist
Your mama so old she was friends with Cleopatra.
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, friendship, Yo mama
The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students. Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, "George, why has your school work been so poor lately?" "I’m in love," the boy replied. Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, "With whom?" "With you," he said. "But George," she said gently, "don’t you see how silly that is? It’s true that I would like a husband of my own someday. But I don’t want a child." "Oh, don’t worry," the boy said reassuringly, "I’ll use a rubber."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, kids, love, school, teacher
Yo mama is so old she was electrocuted with steam.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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Yo Momma soooo old she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket!
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More jokes about: age, Yo mama