Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
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A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom
"You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing."
The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says,
"When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?"
"Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm.
The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast.
"Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops."
(WHACK...she spanks him)
He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out.
She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"
"I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
How do you get four old ladies to shout "F*ck"?
Get a fifth old lady to shout "Bingo!"
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Mum,can i dress a bra?
No.
Why not.I am 14 years old!
How many times I will say you "no", Michael...
Yo mama so old, she walked into a museum and found her ex.
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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old.
At age 60, he began getting younger.
This is why he is actually only 50.
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Yo mama is so old that God doesn't remember her.
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican?
A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
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