The best age jokes

When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, family, geography, life, money
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
Vote:
has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids
Mum,can i dress a bra? No. Why not.I am 14 years old! How many times I will say you "no", Michael...
Vote:
has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
Vote:
has 57.49 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: age, college, marriage, math, wife
An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
Vote:
has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, marriage, viagra, wife
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
Vote:
has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, time
A widowed elderly lady was sunbathing on a beach in Fort Myers, FL. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand next to hers and began reading a book.  Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello sir, how are you today?" "Fine, thank you," he responded, and turned back to his book.  "I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked. "First time since my wife passed away 2 years ago," he replied and turned back to his book. "I'm sorry to hear that. My husband passed away 3 years ago and it is very lonely," she countered. "Do you live around here?" she asked. "Yes, I live over in Cape Coral," he answered and again resumed reading.  Trying to find a topic of common interest, and noticing that his book was about veterinary medicine, she persisted, "Do you like pussy cats?" With that, the man dropped his book, jumped off his blanket and on to hers, tore off her swimsuit and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!  When the cloud of sand began to settle, she gasped and asked the man, "How did you know that was what I wanted?" The man replied, "How did you know my name was Katz?"
Vote:
has 57.10 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: age, husband, marriage, men, wife
Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?" "Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"
Vote:
has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, bartender, drunk
Yo' Mama is so old, she calls her waterbed the Dead Sea.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, Yo mama
When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
Vote:
has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
<<<21222324
More jokes →
Page 21 of 32.