The best age jokes

A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom "You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops." (WHACK...she spanks him) He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: age, food, kids
Mum,can i dress a bra? No. Why not.I am 14 years old! How many times I will say you "no", Michael...
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
Yo mama so old, she walked into a museum and found her ex.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, old people, relationship, Yo mama
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, family, geography, life, money
Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. "By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand" "So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?" "Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, bartender, drunk
Yo mama is so old that God doesn't remember her.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, god, memory, Yo mama
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids
Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One bloke says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 95 years old, and she's just 24! What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family." "What do you call it?" "We call it a football wedding." The first asks, "What's a football wedding?" The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: age, family, sport, wedding
An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, marriage, viagra, wife
Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, fart, Yo mama
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