A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog. The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want." The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you." He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened. And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
Your mama so old she was friends with Cleopatra.
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about. "Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks. The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father." "I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal." "Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many." The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards." The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!" The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
Yo mama is so old that God doesn't remember her.
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
Yo mama is so old she was electrocuted with steam.