The best age jokes

What weighs 35 tons, has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old? Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: age, animal
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, life, sport
A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom "You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops." (WHACK...she spanks him) He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, food, kids
Yo mama is so old that God doesn't remember her.
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has 58.52 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: age, god, memory, Yo mama
An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
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has 58.42 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, marriage, viagra, wife
Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.
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has 58.09 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, fart, Yo mama
A young girl with a bag is crossing the customs. Customs officers check her bag and find some kind of powder. They ask the girl: "What kind of powder is that?" "Heroin" "But heroin is matte-white, and this powder is orange." "This is a kids' heroine – orange taste."
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has 57.88 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: age, cop, drug, kids
Yo mama told me that she had some wrinkles in her feet ; I suggested to wear stocking. She said : "Woo it is 50 years that I am wearing pants the chink of her ass hadn't been recovery!"
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has 57.70 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, vulgar, Yo mama
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, dinosaur, insulting, science, Yo mama
Mother: Come on Pete you have to get out of bed or you'll be late for the college. Peter: O mum do I have to, all the teachers hate me, and all the students hate me too. Mother: Yes you do. Peter: Give me a good reason Mother: You're 52 and you are the Principal!
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, college, school
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