When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
You are so old, you fart dust.
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest. He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about. "Why do you wear your collar backwards?" The old Jewish man asks. The Priest, being polite, responds, "Well, Sir, because I’m a father." "I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal." "Yes," the Priest begins, "but I am father of many." The old Jewish man shakes his head. "I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards." The priest, aggitated, slams his fist in his palm "Sir! I am the father of hundreds!" The elderly Jewish man, beweildered, stands to get off the subway, and leans over to the priest "Mister, maybe you should start wearing your pants backwards."
Your mama so old she was friends with Cleopatra.
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican? A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!