The best age jokes

The young fellow is about to marry and asks his grandfather how often a married couple should have sex. His grandfather tells him, "When you first get married, you want it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your anniversary." The young fellow asks, "How about you and Grandma?" His grandfather replies, "Oh, we just have oral sex now. She goes into her bedroom and I go into my bedroom. She yells, 'F**k you,' and I holler back, 'F**k you, too!'"
Vote: has 54.70 % from 119 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, marriage, sex
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, math, science
A couple had been married for 30 years and was celebrating the husband's 60th birthday. During the party, a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them one wish each. The wife said, "We've been so poor all these years, and I've never gotten to see the world. I wish we could travel all over the world." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, and then said, "Well, I'd like to be married to a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy waved her wand and POOF! He was 90.
Vote: has 54.27 % from 256 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, birthday, husband, marriage, time
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, kids
Your momma is so old, I slapped her in the back and her titties fell out.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, Yo mama
A beautiful woman in her thirties was passing through customs in London, when the customs official asks her what the reason for her trip to London was. Business or pleasure, he asks? Sadness and pleasure! She says to the officer! Why? Well, my 75 years old husband has just died and I came to his funeral! My condolences, says the officer! It must be a very difficult and painful time you're going through! Not really, this is my pleasure! I'm so sad because only now I found out that he was dead broke and did not leave a dime, a penny, not even a will for me!
Vote: has 54.06 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, beauty, business, travel, women
A preacher was giving a sermon to a full church when all of a sudden the devil appeared. He was menacing and threatening and the entire congregation started to flee the church except for one old man. When the church was empty the devil went up to the man and asked "aren’t you afraid of me, I’m evil incarnate, the most horrific being in the universe and will most likely torture you!" The man replied "You don’t scare me, I’ve been married to your sister for 35 years."
Vote: has 53.62 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, church, marriage, time
A 65 year old blonde has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says “not yet.” A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says “not yet.” Finally they say, “When can we see the baby?” And the mother says, “When the baby cries.” And they ask, “Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?” The new mother says, “because I forgot where I put it.”
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, baby, old people
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
Vote: has 53.57 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, dirty, music, old people
If you're under the age of 25 and you think your life sucks then you better brace yourself.... Life has only given you the TIP of its Dildo.
Vote: has 53.25 % from 122 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, life, sex


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