The best age jokes

Leeroy is talking to his parents about his problems: "Mummy, whenever I try to play with the white boys and girls, they always call me a nigger - why is that? "Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are black." "And mummy, why do the teachers shout at me and tell me to go away, but they are nice to the white boys and girls?" "Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are black." Then Leroy grins and says "Well, whenever I'm in the shower with the white boys I notice that my penis is much bigger than their penises." "Well," replies his mum, "that's because you are 37."
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has 51.79 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: age, black people
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, death, life, time
You are so old, you fart dust.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, fart, insulting
A beautiful woman in her thirties was passing through customs in London, when the customs official asks her what the reason for her trip to London was. Business or pleasure, he asks? Sadness and pleasure! She says to the officer! Why? Well, my 75 years old husband has just died and I came to his funeral! My condolences, says the officer! It must be a very difficult and painful time you're going through! Not really, this is my pleasure! I'm so sad because only now I found out that he was dead broke and did not leave a dime, a penny, not even a will for me!
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has 51.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: age, beauty, business, travel, women
A woman was standing naked, looking herself at the mirror. She was not satisfied with what she was looking at and said to her husband: "I feel awful. I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need a compliment right now." Her husband replied: "Your vision is perfectly nice!" ...and then the fight started.
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has 51.05 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: age, fat, husband, marriage
4-year-old: Why are you my dad? Me: Because I made you. 4: How? Me: ... 4: O.o Me: ... 4: O.O Me: With Legos.
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has 50.97 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids
While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old photographs, we came across a picture of me when I was a captain in the Army Reserves. “Daddy, were you in a war?” “Yes,” I fibbed, just to see what her reaction would be. Wide-eyed, she gasped, “Against what planet?”
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has 50.88 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, military
You are so old, when you were a kid rainbows were black and white.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: age, kids
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life, music
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