The best baby jokes

What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
has 20.04 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: baby, Christmas, disgusting, health
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
has 19.64 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, dirty
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
has 17.83 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting, dog
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
has 17.34 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: baby, sport
What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.
has 14.11 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
has 13.69 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole.
has 12.37 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
has 12.23 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting, hospital
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