Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarea and thought he was melting.
How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies? He ate his way out.
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.