Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first?
A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
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How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies?
He ate his way out.
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What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life?
You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.
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What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ?
Cancer.
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What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
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What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.
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A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him.
Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him.
He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?
A baby with a punctured lung.
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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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