What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
Q: Who is brave? A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!
On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him. They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room. In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there. I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby. I did so. And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.
What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."