What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
Q: Who is brave? A: He who has diarrhea and wants to fart!
On a cold day of January, I went to visit one of my friends in his house; it was snowing and my friend urged me to stay the night with him. They had only 2 rooms one for themselves and other for their baby; so I suggested to rest in baby' room. In middle of the night, I need WC which was in the garden and was so difficult for me to go there. I thought some moments then decided to change my place with the baby. I did so. And pissed in the place of baby; when I returned to change again I saw that the baby had shitted in my bed!
Laughing is always good except when you have diarrhea.
What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
Q: What is the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? A: The taste
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes? A: The guy who gave it to him.
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"
Three old men were sitting on a porch. "I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one. "I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another. "I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."