The best beauty jokes

A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle. The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so." That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
Vote:
has 53.84 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, marriage
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
Vote:
has 53.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: beauty, birthday, life, love, marriage
A beautiful woman in her thirties was passing through customs in London, when the customs official asks her what the reason for her trip to London was. Business or pleasure, he asks? Sadness and pleasure! She says to the officer! Why? Well, my 75 years old husband has just died and I came to his funeral! My condolences, says the officer! It must be a very difficult and painful time you're going through! Not really, this is my pleasure! I'm so sad because only now I found out that he was dead broke and did not leave a dime, a penny, not even a will for me!
Vote:
has 53.58 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: age, beauty, business, travel, women
Q: How does Jesus celebrate Easter? A: He gets a manicure, pedicure, and has his nails polished.
Vote:
has 53.18 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: beauty, christian, easter
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
Vote:
has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?" "Well, at least you tried..."
Vote:
has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: beauty, marriage, wife
Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?" Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!" Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.” Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too." Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?" Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
Vote:
has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, life, music, women
Q: What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night? A: Cold cream!
Vote:
has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: beauty, wife, winter
Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders? A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing them from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know?" whenever you ask them a question.
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, stupid
<<<101112
More jokes →
Page 10 of 12.