The best beauty jokes

According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, men, women
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the priest with an unusual offer: "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the priest looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes, I do" then leaned toward the priest and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The priest put a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer."
Vote: has 53.03 % from 181 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, marriage, money, priest, wedding
Woman: When you're finished with me, will my husband think I'm beautiful? Beautician: Maybe. Does he still drink a lot?
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, beauty, husband, women
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, single
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle. The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so." That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
Vote: has 52.76 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, beauty, marriage
A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life. That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning. As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet. The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
Vote: has 52.31 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, birthday, life, love, marriage
Q: What does Frosty's wife put on her face at night? A: Cold cream!
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, wife, winter
Wife comes out of a beauty salon and asks husband: "So, how do I look?" "Well, at least you tried..."
Vote: has 51.86 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, marriage, wife
Two young men from up in Minnesota were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models. Ole says to the Sven "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?" Sven replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!" Ole says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren’t very expensive. At this price, I’m buying one.” Sven smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she’s as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too." Three weeks later, Sven asks his friend Ole, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?" Ole replies, "No, but it shouldn’t be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, life
I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces. It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, Facebook, internet


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