The best beauty jokes

I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces. It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, Facebook, internet
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
Vote: has 48.55 % from 110 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, communication, family, little Johnny, teacher
My eyelids are so sexy, I can't keep my eyes off them.
Vote: has 48.11 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty
Think of the hottest woman. Chuck Norris did her.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, Chuck Norris, sex, women
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini. After he finishes that it, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini. The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill." The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beauty, business
Yesterday I was at the hairdresser to cut my hair. The cutting of the hair costs 3 Euros but I had only 1 Euro. So I have asked the hairdresser if she will cut my hair also for 1 Euro? She said yes, so I was glad. Ok, it is not perfect, one side of my head is cut a little bit more than the other one, maybe I look a bit weird, but nobody is perfect.
Vote: has 45.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, money, ugly
We're hoping Chuck Norris doesn't go bald on top. It's a bad look with his mullet.
Vote: has 41.83 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, Chuck Norris
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
Vote: has 40.09 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, geek, IT, women
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter? A: Because their lips will get chapped!
Vote: has 38.75 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, winter, women
A man is in a bar and has one too many drinks. This beautiful lady sits down next to him. He turns to her and says "Hey how bout it. You and me, gettin it on. I've got a couple dollars and it looks like you could use a little money." She stands up and says, "What makes you think I charge by the inch."
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beauty, money, women


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