The best beauty jokes

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said “You’re cute!” Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful” it was “cute.” She said “What happened to ‘beautiful’?” His reply was “The drugs are wearing off!”
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: beauty, drug, lawyer, wife
Q: What is the only thing you will ever hear being said to a Mexican wearing a 3pc suit? A: "Will the defendant please rise".
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: beauty, mexican, prison
The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: beauty, football
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, food, stupid
I wonder what happened to that dumb blonde I went out with. I dyed my hair!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, life, stupid
In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love. In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
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has 56.05 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: beauty, college, drunk, love, school
Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon? A: Because there is no shopping centre.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: beauty, travel, women
Q: Why do Blondes wear padded shoulders? A: So they don't get a concussion while bobbing them from head side to side as they are saying "I don't know?" whenever you ask them a question.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, stupid
Nothing beats a woman with a beautiful singing voice. Except for Chris Brown.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, life, music, women
Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty