The best beauty jokes

H - "Hello?" W - "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?" H - "Yes." W - "Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful mink coat. It's absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?" H - "What's the price?" W - "Only $1,500.00." H - "Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much..." W - "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price...and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." H-"What price did he quote you?" W - "Only $60,000..." H - "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options." W - "Great! But before we hang up, something else..." H - "What?" W - "It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!! Remember? The one with a pool, English Garden, acre of park area, beachfront property." H - "How much are they asking?" W - "Only $450,000 - a magnificent price...and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..." H - "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?" W - "OK, sweetie...Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" H - "Bye...I love u too..." The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap, and raises his hand while holding the phone and asks to all those present: "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
Vote: has 71.27 % from 1431 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, marriage, money, phone
Recently, I've been using the Bible for support. I've got a wobbly coffee table.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, bible, life
Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon? A: Because there is no shopping centre.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, travel, women
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, single
A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" "Africa," says the parrot.
Vote: has 69.47 % from 903 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, beauty, black people, parrot
A Knight was getting ready for the crusade. Ha turned to his friend and told him: "My fiancée is the most beautiful girl in the world and I can't imagine her being with someone else, while I'm gone. You're my best friend and I trust you. Here's the key for her chastity belt. In case I never get back, unlock her and set her free." When the crusade Knights were a mile away from the village, the Knight gets an urgent message: "Mate, You Gave Me The Wrong Key!"
Vote: has 69.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, men, women
If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
Vote: has 68.60 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, mexican, racist, women
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
Vote: has 68.59 % from 133 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, little Johnny
The one thing I've learned from the World Cup is that Europe still hasn't mastered the haircut.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, football
Patient: "Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?" Dentist: "Wear a brown tie..."
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, dentist