The best beauty jokes

Did you hear about the two females who were watching a blonde walk by? The first one said, "I wonder whether she's a natural blonde or a bleached blonde." Her friend said, "She's a suicide blonde." The other said, "Suicide blonde? What's that?" The friend said, "Dyed by her own hand!"
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has 75.62 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, death, women
Little Johnny's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely. When Johnny looked in the crib he said: "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, 'Why, Thank you Johnny." Johnny said: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see all right?" "Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 Vision." "That's great", said Little Johnny, "cos he'd be f*cked if he needed glasses!"
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has 75.56 % from 546 votes. More jokes about: baby, beauty, family, hospital, little Johnny
Q: How does Jesus celebrate Easter? A: He gets a manicure, pedicure, and has his nails polished.
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: beauty, christian, easter
Teen Girl to Friend: "For the prom, I'm renting a limo, spending $500 on a new dress and bringing in the best makeup artist in the state to do my hair." Teacher who has overheard the conversation: "Wow, that's more than I spent for my wedding!" Teen Girl: "Yeah, well you can get married three or four times, but a prom is a once in a lifetime experience."
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has 74.78 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: beauty, money, party, teen
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. "I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives." His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
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has 74.72 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, men, stupid, women
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
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has 74.43 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, beauty, phone, school, science
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
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has 74.14 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, mean, wife
Q: How do tax accountants make a bold fashion statement? A: Wear their dark grey socks instead of the light grey.
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: accountant, beauty, tax
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, dirty, sex
Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight? A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, stupid
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