The best beauty jokes

Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
Vote: has 68.01 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, music, women
I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.
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More jokes about: beauty, dirty, poems
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
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More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, IT, phone, technology
A young boy had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father, who was a minister, if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said to him, "I'll make a deal with you. You bring your grades up, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut, then we will talk about it." A month later the boy came back and again asked his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said, "Son, I'm real proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied your Bible diligently, but you didn't get hair cut!" The young man waited a moment and replied, "You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair." His father replied, "Yes son, and they walked everywhere they went!"
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, car, dad, driving, teen
Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition." "The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?" Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words." There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, communication, money, women
Q: What is the only thing you will ever hear being said to a Mexican wearing a 3pc suit? A: "Will the defendant please rise".
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More jokes about: beauty, mexican, prison
Q: What do blondes eat to increase their breast size? A: Silicone chips.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, blonde, food, stupid
My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, beauty, time, work
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
Vote: has 64.80 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, life