The best beauty jokes

Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: She's trying to hold on to a thought.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, blonde, stupid
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
Vote: has 68.95 % from 149 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, little Johnny
Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
Vote: has 68.15 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, health, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, bird
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it. "My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, death, funeral, money, mother in law
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, life
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Vote: has 65.80 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, blonde, school, stupid


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