The best beauty jokes

A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" "Africa," says the parrot.
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has 69.74 % from 994 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, beauty, black people, parrot
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
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has 69.73 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: beauty, little Johnny
Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, Chuck Norris
Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
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has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: beauty, health, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie – poof it swallows you up. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar. They head straight for the mirror. The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” Poof- the mirror swallows her up. The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” Poof – the mirror swallows her up. Last, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think...” Poof!
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: bar, beauty, blonde, ginger
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: beauty, bird
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it. "My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: beauty, death, funeral, money, mother in law
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 67.31 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
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