The best beauty jokes

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
Vote: has 68.73 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
Vote: has 68.66 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, music, women
Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
Vote: has 68.50 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, health, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A presser in a tailor shop arrived one morning wearing a good sized diamond ring. One of the tailors noticed the sparkler and asked about it. "My mother-in-law gave me a thousand dollars before she passed away. She said that when she dies, I should buy a beautiful stone. So I did!
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, death, funeral, money, mother in law
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, life
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! "Will I meet her at a party?" he croaks. "No," says the psychic, "in biology class."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, beauty, phone, school, science
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, blonde, school, stupid
I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, life, travel
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie – poof it swallows you up. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar. They head straight for the mirror. The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” Poof- the mirror swallows her up. The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” Poof – the mirror swallows her up. Last, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think...” Poof!
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, beauty, blonde, ginger


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