The best beauty jokes

Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
has 69.61 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: beauty, health, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" "Africa," says the parrot.
has 69.56 % from 1029 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, beauty, black people, parrot
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
has 69.22 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
has 68.78 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, school, stupid
If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
has 68.37 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: beauty, mexican, racist, women
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: beauty, gay, management, navy
My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, beauty, time, work
I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, travel
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: beauty, hipster
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