Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.
A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?" His friend nods. "Sure." "Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..." He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin. His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment. "Dude, that is not cool." The doctor, indignant, defended himself. "What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients." His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
Hey girl, your body reminds me of Mcdonalds, because I'm loving it!
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store. He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it. So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir." "How can I help you" the employee replies. "Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?" The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"