The best beauty jokes

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: beauty, gay, management, navy
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie – poof it swallows you up. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar. They head straight for the mirror. The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” Poof- the mirror swallows her up. The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” Poof – the mirror swallows her up. Last, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think...” Poof!
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: bar, beauty, blonde, ginger
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 68.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
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has 68.36 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
Your momma is so ugly when she gets her beauty sleep she falls into a coma!
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has 68.00 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: beauty, health, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, school, stupid
If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
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has 67.46 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: beauty, mexican, racist, women
I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, travel
Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth? A: No make-up.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, beauty, birthday, blonde
Recently, I've been using the Bible for support. I've got a wobbly coffee table.
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: beauty, bible, life
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