The best beauty jokes

Phil, a smart and handsome young man, dressed in the latest fashion, walked into this local pub. He noticed a woman gazing at him without blinking her big eyes. Phil felt flattered so he walked up to the woman and said in his deepest voice, "I'll do anything you wish, beautiful lady, for just £10 but on one condition." "The woman appeared to be trapped in the moment and asked as if in a trance,'What's your condition?" Phil answered, "Tell me your wish in just three words." There was a long pause, the woman opened her purse, counted out the money and handed it to the man along with her address. She then looked deeply into his eyes and whispered, "Clean my house."
has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, money, women
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
has 67.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, music, women
A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?" His friend nods. "Sure." "Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..." He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin. His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment. "Dude, that is not cool." The doctor, indignant, defended himself. "What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients." His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
has 66.76 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, dirty, doctor, friendship
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
has 66.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, communication, dirty, sex
Hey girl, your body reminds me of Mcdonalds, because I'm loving it!
has 66.48 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: beauty, flirt, food, love
I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.
has 65.79 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, poems
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head. "How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: beauty, redneck, stupid, time
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, bird
I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, travel
If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
has 64.35 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: beauty, mexican, racist, women
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