The best beauty jokes

By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: beauty, gay, management, navy
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head. "How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: beauty, redneck, stupid, time
If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
has 66.41 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: beauty, mexican, racist, women
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, school, stupid
I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, travel
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: beauty, hipster
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
has 64.46 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: beauty, kids, little Johnny, mean, poems
My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, beauty, time, work
I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.
has 63.74 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, poems
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, god, sex
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