Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Q: How do you identify a bald eagle? A: All his feathers are combed over to one side.
I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.
Little Lucy met Little Johnny after school and ask him, "Johnny do you you think I'm cute?" Little Johnny looked at her from head to toe irritably and replied. "Roses are red. Your blood is too. You look like a monkey. And belong in a zoo. Do not worry, I'll be there too. Not in the cage, But laughing at you".
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
Wearing a turtleneck shirt is like being strangled by a really weak person all day.