The best beauty jokes

I went to a very beautiful place yesterday. There were blossoms, roses and bright sky like a fantasy land. I was so happy until some idiot woke me up...
Vote: has 65.19 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, life, travel
I like your style I like your class but most of all i like your ass.
Vote: has 64.93 % from 70 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, dirty, poems
There is legend that goes like this: In a bar in New York there is a magical mirror If you go up to it and tell it the truth it will grant you a wish If you lie – poof it swallows you up. A brunette, a blonde and a redhead walk into this bar. They head straight for the mirror. The redhead goes first and says “I think I’m the most beautiful woman on Earth” Poof- the mirror swallows her up. The brunette goes up to the mirror and says “I think I’m the sexiest woman on Earth” Poof – the mirror swallows her up. Last, the blonde goes up to the mirror says ” I think...” Poof!
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, beauty, blonde, ginger
Marley stopped at the town barbershop for a haircut. After thirty-five minutes of snipping and cutting, the barber held a mirror behind Marley's head. "How you like it?" asked the barber. "Real fine," said the redneck. "But how 'bout making it a little longer in the back?"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, redneck, stupid, time
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, hipster
Recently, I've been using the Bible for support. I've got a wobbly coffee table.
Vote: has 63.75 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, bible, life
By the time a Marine pulled into a little town, every hotel room was taken. "You've got to have a room somewhere," he pleaded. "Or just a bed, I don't care where." "Well, I do have a double room with one occupant, a Navy guy," admitted the manager, "and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I'm not sure it'd be worth it to you." "No problem," the tired Marine assured him. "I'll take it." The next morning the Marine came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "How'd you sleep?" Asked the manager. "Never better." The manager was impressed. "No problem with the other guy snoring, then?" "Nope, I shut him up in no time." Said the Marine. "How'd you manage that?" asked the manager. "He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room," the Marine explained. "I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, said, 'Goodnight, beautiful,' and he sat up all night watching me."
Vote: has 63.61 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, gay, management, navy
One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
Vote: has 62.44 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, graduation, stupid
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
Vote: has 62.37 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
My nookie days are over My pilot light is out What used to be my sex appeal Is now my water spout. Time was when, on its own accord From my trousers it would spring But now I've got a full-time job To find the blasted thing. It used to be embarrassing The way it would behave For every single morning It would stand and watch me shave. Now as old age approaches It sure gives me the blues To see it hang its little head And watch me tie my shoes.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, beauty, time, work


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