The best beer jokes

Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A: "Have another beer."
Vote: has 66.45 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, blonde
What is a "successful hunting trip"? When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, hunting, men
What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, Chuck Norris
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, Chuck Norris
A white man walks into a bar and says to a bartender "Hey nigger. Gimme a beer". The bartender says "Don't say that to me. What happened if I said something like that to you?". "The white man says "I don't know lets find out". They switch places. The black comes in and said "Hey honkey, gimme a f*ckin' beer". The white man says "Sorry. We don't serve niggers"
Vote: has 63.56 % from 144 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, racist, white people
A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees the guy next to him go over to the window and jump out! "Holy cow! Did you see that!? That guy just jumped out the window!" The bartender does nothing. So the man takes another sip. A minute later the same guy walks in, orders another drink, chugs it, and jumps out the window again. "Jesus! He just jumped again!" The bartender ignores the man. So the man sits puzzled. The guy comes back into the bar, and orders another drink. "How did you survive that jump?" "I ordered a floatie drink, if you drink it in a certain amount of time, you can float." So the guy quickly orders a floatie drink. He takes it from the bartender, and chugs it. He then jumps out the window and... SPLAT! Right on the sidewalk! The Bartender then says, "You know, Superman... you can be a real jerk when youre drunk."
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, celebrity
What's the fastest thing in the world? A beer truck driving through an Indian reserve. What's the second fastest thing in the world? The Indians running after it.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, life
Old man O'Malley had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day he just wasn't paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the Widow O'Malley of her old man's death. He showed up at the front door and rang the bell. When she came to the door, he said, "I'm sorry to tell you, but your poor husband passed away at work today when he fell into the vat and drowned." She wept and covered her face with her apron and after a time, between sobs, she asked, "Tell me, did he suffer?" "Knowing Brian O'Malley as well as I did, I don't think so," said the foreman, "He got out three times to go to the men's room."
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, old people, work
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar. The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, drug, kids
This guy walks into a bar and sits down on a stool and places a bottle of prescribe medication on the bar, the man sitting next to him says, "What is that?" The guy says, "These are smart pills," you take one and it makes you smarter. The half drunk man says, "Your joking aren't you? and the guy says, "No I am not." So the drunk says to the bar tender, "Give a large glass of beer." The drunk opens the bottle and takes a pill and washes it down. A few minutes later the drunk says, "I don't feel smarter." and the guy says, "Well some people require more than one pill." So the drunk takes another pill and washes it down and few minutes later he says, "I still don't feel any smarter. So the drunk says, "Hey,let me see those pills," the drunk takes a pill and smells it and says," it smells like shit and he tastes it and says, "It tastes like shit." The guy says, "See! your getting smartes allready."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer