The best beer jokes

A man walks into a bar on the top floor of a skyscraper. He sits down and orders a beer. After taking a drink he sees the guy next to him go over to the window and jump out! "Holy cow! Did you see that!? That guy just jumped out the window!" The bartender does nothing. So the man takes another sip. A minute later the same guy walks in, orders another drink, chugs it, and jumps out the window again. "Jesus! He just jumped again!" The bartender ignores the man. So the man sits puzzled. The guy comes back into the bar, and orders another drink. "How did you survive that jump?" "I ordered a floatie drink, if you drink it in a certain amount of time, you can float." So the guy quickly orders a floatie drink. He takes it from the bartender, and chugs it. He then jumps out the window and... SPLAT! Right on the sidewalk! The Bartender then says, "You know, Superman... you can be a real jerk when youre drunk."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, beer, celebrity
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, beer, Chuck Norris
So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says,"You should get this beer" *Holds up bottle* "It allows you to do amazing things!" At this the man stands up, jumps out the window and Flies around twice before coming back into the Building. The blonde then orders the Same beer. She drinks it. And then Jumps out the window. And falls to her death. The Owner of the Bar then turns to the man in the coat and says, "You know you're a real Prick when you're drunk, Superman."
Vote: has 57.55 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, beer, blonde, celebrity, death
A white guy goes into a bar and sees a black bartender. He says, "yo, nigger, get me a beer!" The bartender says, "that's very rude. How would you like it if I talked to you like that?" The white guy says, "let's switch places and see!" So they switch places. The bartender says, " yo, cracka, get me a beer!" The white guy says, "sorry, we don't serve niggers here!"
Vote: has 56.92 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, black people, racist
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer, money, time
The bartender asks: "Would all three of you like some beer?" The first one replies, "I don't know." The second one replies, "I don't know either." The third replies, "Yes."
Vote: has 54.89 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bartender, beer, math
A skeleton walked into a bar and asked for a beer...and a mop.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer
So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer. At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.
Vote: has 52.05 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, beer, math
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I cant serve you," states the barman. "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. "Youre under 18," replies the barman.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, bartender, beer