The best car jokes

An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card. So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: "Hey, send somebody to my location with $500!" The tribe accepts this signal, but to make sure in its meaning, signals back – once again, with the smoke: "OK, chief, but why so much?" At this moment a ground test of nuclear bomb is being held on the test field nearby. A huge mushroom-like cloud of smoke rises into the sky... The tribe signals: "Ok, Ok, chief, we just wondered, why to be so angry?"
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More jokes about: car, geography, military, money
A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license. The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?" Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!" The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman. The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
Vote: has 72.18 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, driving, money, time
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Vote: has 71.64 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.  As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.  "I'll give you a lift." The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer." The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."
Vote: has 71.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, priest
Yo mama is so fat she turned a monster truck into a low rider.
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More jokes about: car, fat, Yo mama
When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
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More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, money
Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus' time? A:Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bible, car, christian, time
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.
Vote: has 71.13 % from 271 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, car, mexican, racist