The best car jokes

An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card. So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: "Hey, send somebody to my location with $500!" The tribe accepts this signal, but to make sure in its meaning, signals back – once again, with the smoke: "OK, chief, but why so much?" At this moment a ground test of nuclear bomb is being held on the test field nearby. A huge mushroom-like cloud of smoke rises into the sky... The tribe signals: "Ok, Ok, chief, we just wondered, why to be so angry?"
Vote: has 71.05 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, geography, military, money
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.
Vote: has 70.86 % from 216 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, car, mexican, racist
A guy goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy who's obviously been drinking for a while. The drunk gets up from his stool to go to the bathroom and falls down 3 times. The guy says to himself "I'll help this guy get home safely" and helps him out to his car The guy falls down five more times. He drives him up to the address on his license, takes him up to the door. The guy falls down 8 times on the way...and rings the bell. A lady answers the door and says "Oh how nice, you brought home Harry. But what did you do with his wheelchair?"
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, car, drunk
A new man is brought into Prison Cell 102. Already there is a long-time resident who looks 100 years old. The new man looks at the old-timer inquiringly. The old-timer says, "Look at me. I'm old and worn out. You'd never believe that I used to live the life of Riley. I wintered on the Riviera, had a boat, four fine cars, the most beautiful women, and I ate in all the best restaurants of France." The new man asked, "What happened?" "One day Riley reported his credit cards missing!"
Vote: has 70.78 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, car, life, prison, women
Q: Why do more niggers get hit by cars in the winter? A: They're easier to spot.
Vote: has 70.68 % from 143 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, racist, vulgar, winter
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car, Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A mother and her daughter were visiting the grave site of a loved one, when on their way back to the car they little girl stopped her mom. She said "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, sweetheart." her mother replied, "Why ever would you ask such a question?" "The headstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
Vote: has 70.40 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, kids, love
A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.  As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.  "I'll give you a lift." The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer." The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, death, lawyer, priest
Yo mamas so poor she traded her car for gas money.
Vote: has 70.08 % from 125 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, money, Yo mama