The best car jokes

This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
Vote: has 68.50 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, death, dirty, money, wife
Much controversy surrounds Area 51, which is also known as Chuck Norris's playground. Those flying saucers are similar to our model cars and planes.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
This little snail bought a little car and took it to the body shop to have it painted. The service man asked him exactly what he wanted done, and the snail said he wanted little's s painted all around and all over his car. The service man asked him why, and the snail answered "When people see me in my car I want them to say, look at that S-Car-Go!"
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car
When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Recently, I woke up to find that two of my car's tires had been stolen. When the police officer arrived, he asked, "When were you last driving the car?" "Last night at 11:00," I said. "And the tires were on it then?"
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop, driving, stupid, time
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over. The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?" The man says, "I slowed down." The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cop
What do you call a mexican who's lost his car? Carlos.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, mexican, racist
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” “Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, car, god, women


<<<17181920
More jokes →
Page 17 of 39.