The best car jokes

"My wife drives like thunder." "So fast?" "No, every minute she strikes a tree."
has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: car, time, travel, wife
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor... The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
has 68.71 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, doctor, wife
Q: What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car? A: He was booked for a salt and battery.
has 68.66 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: car, chemistry, nerd
Pritam is driving down the Delhi-Amritsar highway when he spots his friend Shankar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Shankar is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. Pritam gets out of the car, walks all the way out to Shankar and asks him, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" Shankar replies, "I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize." "How?" asks Pritam, puzzled. "Well, I heard they give the Noble Prize to people who are outstanding in their field."
has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, driving, friendship, stupid
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over. The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?" The man says, "I slowed down." The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"
has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: car, cop
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
The economy got very bad in 2008. I saw a pimp driving a beat up old Volkswagon.
has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: car, driving, money, time
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.
has 68.43 % from 356 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, mexican, racist
A mouse and an elephant are walking through the forest. The elephant falls in a hole so the mouse gets his Porsche throws a rope down into the hole and pulls the elephant out. So they continue walking and the mouse falls into a hole. The elephant throws his dick into the hole and the mouse climbs out. Moral of the story: if you have a big enough dick you don't need a Porsche.
has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, dirty, elephant
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