The best car jokes

Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches. Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
Vote: has 69.99 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, weather
I do two hours of cardio every day. But I still need to find the closest parking spot to the gym.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, fitness, gym, time
Q: What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A: A taxi.
Vote: has 69.92 % from 519 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, car, white people, work
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
Vote: has 69.88 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, beer, car, men, sex
A guy goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy who's obviously been drinking for a while. The drunk gets up from his stool to go to the bathroom and falls down 3 times. The guy says to himself "I'll help this guy get home safely" and helps him out to his car The guy falls down five more times. He drives him up to the address on his license, takes him up to the door. The guy falls down 8 times on the way...and rings the bell. A lady answers the door and says "Oh how nice, you brought home Harry. But what did you do with his wheelchair?"
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, car, drunk
Yo mamas so poor she traded her car for gas money.
Vote: has 69.85 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, money, Yo mama
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted excitedly, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said, "Just get out."
Vote: has 69.74 % from 676 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, god, marriage, money, women
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor... The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
Vote: has 69.73 % from 101 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, disgusting, doctor, wife
An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and reveals that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card. So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and signals his tribe with its smoke: "Hey, send somebody to my location with $500!" The tribe accepts this signal, but to make sure in its meaning, signals back – once again, with the smoke: "OK, chief, but why so much?" At this moment a ground test of nuclear bomb is being held on the test field nearby. A huge mushroom-like cloud of smoke rises into the sky... The tribe signals: "Ok, Ok, chief, we just wondered, why to be so angry?"
Vote: has 69.67 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, geography, military, money
"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car