The best car jokes

What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an Asian? A car thief that can't drive.
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has 69.25 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: asian, car, mexican, racist
A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road.   She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, women
This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
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has 68.97 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, money, wife
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” “Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, god, women
A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops. And he asks him: - Hey, What happens to you? - (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car. - Well, don't care and buy another car. - Look inside the car! - Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all. - Look inside her mouth!!!
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has 68.78 % from 343 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, money, sex
Much controversy surrounds Area 51, which is also known as Chuck Norris's playground. Those flying saucers are similar to our model cars and planes.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor... The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
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has 68.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, doctor, wife
Man walks over to a lady in a bar and asks "whats your name ?" "Carmen" she replies,... "I like cars and men ! Whats yours ?" The man looks her up and down and sayes "Beerpussy ..."
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has 68.29 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, car, men, sex
Why do black people have nice shoes and nice cars but not nice houses? Because they haven't figured out how to steal houses yet!
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has 68.25 % from 690 votes. More jokes about: black people, car, racist
Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris
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