Q: What is worst than raining black cats and bloodhounds? A: Hailing taxi cabs!
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
A woman took her dog to the vet. She said, "I think my dog is dead". The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. "$345," says the doctor. "$345!!?" the lady asks. "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."
Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? A: For kitty littering.
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.