Joke #11508

Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court? A: For kitty littering.
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Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray this cushy life to keep. I pray for toys that look like mice, And sofa cushions, soft and nice. I pray for gourmet kitty snacks, And someone nice to scratch my back, For windowsills all warm and bright, For shadows to explore at night. I pray I'll always stay real cool And keep the secret feline rule To never tell a human that The world is really ruled by cats!
Vote: has 63.21 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Two kittens on a sloped roof. Wchich one slides off first? The one with the lowest mew.
Vote: has 50.89 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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Yo mama so ugly, even hello kitty said goodbye.
Vote: has 79.42 % from 261 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

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A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts", and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts", and they all sat back down in their seats. After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts." They all broke out into applause and cheered. When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling. Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he turned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?" The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, 'peanuts'".
Vote: has 45.98 % from 201 votes. Send joke:

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How do you know if an Asian robbed you? Your homework is done and cats gone.
Vote: has 70.80 % from 426 votes. Send joke:

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Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies. Little Annie is now silent for a while. "You understand it now?" Mum asks. "Yes," replies her daughter. "Do you still have any questions?" "Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?" "In exactly the same way as with babies." "Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

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