Q: Why did a person with an unspayed female cat have to go to court?
A: For kitty littering.
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Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray this cushy life to keep.
I pray for toys that look like mice,
And sofa cushions, soft and nice.
I pray for gourmet kitty snacks,
And someone nice to scratch my back,
For windowsills all warm and bright,
For shadows to explore at night.
I pray I'll always stay real cool
And keep the secret feline rule
To never tell a human that
The world is really ruled by cats!
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane?
A: Kitty-hawk
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat?
A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?
An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
Q: What do you get if you cross a fence post was a kitty?
A: A poleca.
Mum has told her little girl all about the making of babies.
Little Annie is now silent for a while.
"You understand it now?" Mum asks.
"Yes," replies her daughter.
"Do you still have any questions?"
"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"
"In exactly the same way as with babies."
"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
There was a little boy sitting on a curb in one hand he had a cat and the other a box of smarties.
Every so often he would pop a smartie bite the cat get up and move down to the curb.
There is a man watching this young boy and wonders what he's doing once again the kid pops a smartie bites the cat gets up and moves down on the curb.
So the man comes outside and yells to the boy but the boy ignores him and continues popping a smartie biting the cat and moving down the curb.
Finally the man screams hey kid "what are you doing?"
The boy looks back and says "who? me?"
The man says "yes."
The little boy responds "Well sir I'm playing trucker."
The man confused says "What do you mean playing trucker."
The little boy then says "Yes, playing trucker I'm popping pills, eating pussy and moving down the road."
How do you know if an Asian robbed you?
Your homework is done and cats gone.
Q: What do you get when you take a Kitty Kat to the tailor?
A: Bad Blood.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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