The best cat jokes

Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Yours sincerely,  The CAT
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, weather
A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
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has 62.38 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, friendship
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
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has 60.82 % from 164 votes. More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids, travel
Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: cat, chocolate, geography
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex? A: freak.
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has 57.35 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: cat, communication, sex
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: cat, dirty, mean, weather, women
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