The best cat jokes

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Vote: has 60.24 % from 156 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids, travel
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, cat, kitty
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, kids, kitty, money
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she thought Meow Mix was a rap CD for cats.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, music, stupid, Yo mama
An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, cat, marriage, old people, wife
Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
Vote: has 46.37 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, school, teacher
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
Vote: has 46.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, food, heaven
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived. Everything went quite well. As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts", and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts", and they all sat back down in their seats. After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts." They all broke out into applause and cheered. When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling. Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he turned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?" The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, 'peanuts'".
Vote: has 45.72 % from 200 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, doctor, game, sport
Q: How do you make a cat go ‘woof’? A: Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire.
Vote: has 44.74 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, cat