The best cat jokes

Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cat, communication, friendship
Cats are allergic to Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Yours sincerely,  The CAT
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat, weather
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex? A: freak.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cat, communication, sex
Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cat, chocolate, geography
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Vote: has 60.13 % from 161 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids, travel
Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cat, dirty, mean, weather, women
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, cat
An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
Vote: has 52.41 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, cat, marriage, old people, wife


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