The best cat jokes

A boy asks his mother for breakfast. She says, "Not until you feed the animals." The boy goes outside and says to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicks the chicken. He does the same with the cow and the pig. The boy goes back into the house and tells his mother that he's hungry. His mother says, "I saw you kick the chicken, so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow, so you're not getting any milk, and I saw kick the pig, so you're not getting any bacon." Just then the boy's father walks down the steps, trips and kicks the cat. The boy says, "Mom, should I tell him?"
Vote: has 62.38 % from 95 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, food
Go to your back door and look for the dog. If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining. But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard. If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy. If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing. Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather. Yours sincerely,  The CAT
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, weather
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The mother said, "Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess." So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. You can ask your mother to explain it to you."
Vote: has 60.72 % from 158 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, cat, dog, kids, travel
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
None of my friends laugh at any of my jokes because cats can only meow.
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More jokes about: cat, communication, friendship
Q: What is a French cat's favorite dessert? A: Chocolate mousse.
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, chocolate, geography
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex? A: freak.
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cat, communication, sex
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat
Q: Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? A: Kitty-hawk
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, cat, kitty
An old woman wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy. The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common."
Vote: has 51.13 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, cat, marriage, old people, wife